"TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!!!"

Indeed. How familiar it sounds. Almost conjures up images of Russell Crowe giving a little "pep talk" to his Roman soldiers at the beginning of Ridley Scott's masterful "Gladiator" (2000).

I hear through my American contacts that Zach Snyder's "300" is tracking huge at the moment. That means that the polls project "300" to score huge box-office by next Sunday evening in North America.

I'll see "300" next Monday in a sneak preview here in the arctic plains. I expect a flashy, violent, action-packed yarn. With lots of half-naked male athletes (yeah, I know I can't get that fit anymore...) running around and butchering each other to little pieces.

The Americans have already detected political metaphors in this slick, visually arresting ultra-violence sandal pic. Some ask if George W. Bush is more like Leonidas (the King of the heroic Spartans) or Xerxes (the King of the Persians).

Personally, I couldn't give a toss. I just look forward to being entertained. Like Maximus put it so memorably in "Gladiator": Are you entertained?!?!

Yes sirree, we hope to be. Not by the butchering, but by the sheer spectacle, visuals and sheer technical prowess. (Don't forget that director Zach Snyder is the guy who's this close to getting green light on Alan Moore's "Watchmen" - the mother of all dystopian anti-comic book hero works. It's a true masterpiece. Don't miss the graphic novel!)

Those of us who know a little history, remember that "300" derives its title from the (seemingly impossible) but true fact that in 480 B.C. during The Battle of Thermopylae only 300 brave Spartans fought against an army of Persians, whose numbers was much, much higher (around 100.000 in fact, or so the sensationalistic historians claim!).

Gee. That almost makes me think of the feat we Finns accomplished against our mighty arch-enemy, the Russians in the Finnish Winter War in 1939. (We never got invaded by the way, but it sure was bloody close.)

The real Spartans in modern Greece - where the local city fathers are keeping their fingers crossed for big box-office in hope of lucrative tourism - have already critized "300" for its blatant historical inaccuracies.

Oh well. If you want to see historical accuracy, watch The History Channel.